i`ve come to the realization that i am utterly, uncontrollably in love with my best friend of three years. otis wayne. haha. i laugh at that name. but back to the topic at hand. so yea i`m totally in love with this boy. we`ve been through hell and back. we`ve probably talked like a million and one times but have only dated once. wierd huh? i know. but i just don` know what it is about him that has me soo flippin gone.
i actually consider myself stuck on dumb because every time we even attempt to date it ends bad. but the love we got for each other is undeniable. everyone sees it, we see it, hell even my moms sees it but we just try not to go there.
but its becoming harder just being his best friend. especially with her in the picture. she`s not a bad girl ; she just has stalker qualities lol. she really loves him too. but i just know that it`s not the same type of love i have for him. i know absolutely everything there is to know about him. maybe that`s the problem.
maybe if i isolate myself from him the love might go away….naw that`s impossible. i`ve asked myself a hundred times why does he keep coming back in my life? why does he leave me just so he can`t hurt me? why does he feel that he`s not good enough for me?
i`ve tried to convince myself that he`s not either but no avail. i don`t understand how people do it. how do they look their husband/wife or boy/girlfriend in the face knowing that they are in love with someone else? i can`t do that. i don` think i want to.
My aunt and sis says that me and him are gonna get married one day. which i only laugh at but always keep that idea in my mind. they say we have a love and basketball type of relationship.
i just hate things get messy when we try to become boyfriend and girlfriend. everything always go sooooo smoothly when we don`t label each other. could that be an issue? does it show that we`re both not willing to commit to each other. idk.
although it gets harder to just be his friend, i definitely could not see my life without being his friend. my life would totally suck with out him. so im gonna love him eitha way.
<3.>
i actually consider myself stuck on dumb because every time we even attempt to date it ends bad. but the love we got for each other is undeniable. everyone sees it, we see it, hell even my moms sees it but we just try not to go there.
but its becoming harder just being his best friend. especially with her in the picture. she`s not a bad girl ; she just has stalker qualities lol. she really loves him too. but i just know that it`s not the same type of love i have for him. i know absolutely everything there is to know about him. maybe that`s the problem.
maybe if i isolate myself from him the love might go away….naw that`s impossible. i`ve asked myself a hundred times why does he keep coming back in my life? why does he leave me just so he can`t hurt me? why does he feel that he`s not good enough for me?
i`ve tried to convince myself that he`s not either but no avail. i don`t understand how people do it. how do they look their husband/wife or boy/girlfriend in the face knowing that they are in love with someone else? i can`t do that. i don` think i want to.
My aunt and sis says that me and him are gonna get married one day. which i only laugh at but always keep that idea in my mind. they say we have a love and basketball type of relationship.
i just hate things get messy when we try to become boyfriend and girlfriend. everything always go sooooo smoothly when we don`t label each other. could that be an issue? does it show that we`re both not willing to commit to each other. idk.
although it gets harder to just be his friend, i definitely could not see my life without being his friend. my life would totally suck with out him. so im gonna love him eitha way.
<3.>
No comments:
Post a Comment